diaphenia | Fic: Brown

Title: Brown
Author:

saucydiva
Word count: 1.2K
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: Clearly I don’t own it or I’d take everyone out for some ‘za
Timeline: Gen season 5.

Spoilers: No actual spoilers, though this does work from the generally accepted premise that Ben and April return from DC

Summary: As prompted by birthday girl

anmasp: Leslie/everyone, Donna gives Leslie an awesome makeover that everyone else loves yet Ben hates.

Author’s Note: Thanks to

popgurlie for the beta job and for generally being awesome, and to

throwingpens, who had nothing to do with this, but who told me I write like an exploding whipped cream can, which I like.

“But why is your hair brown?” Ben asked again.

“Because Donna did it for me over lunch,” Leslie said, touching the ends with her fingertips. “Don’t you like it?”

“It’s…. it’s very brown.”

Leslie rolled her eyes.

Donna came up and met them by the door. “Don’t tell me you’re questioning my beauty advice, Hair Gel.”

Ben glared. “What did you do to my girlfriend?”

“I gave her a little style. Think of all the looks she’ll be getting soon.” Donna smiled at Leslie, then narrowed her eyes. “Come to think of it, this could be a problem if she’s stealing focus when we go out.”

“It’s not a problem since she’s dating me,” Ben said with a sigh.

“Not for long,” Donna said, as they followed Leslie inside.

***

“Looking good, Knope!” Tom said, glancing at her. “I like the hair. Very Natalie Portman circa the Oscars 2011.”

“Thanks, Tom,” Leslie said with a smile.

“That’s almost vaguely contemporary,” Tom said. “I’m so proud.”

Chris and Andy had been sitting at the round table, heads bowed over some papers, but Chris stood up and greeted Ben with a hug that just kept going. He offered one to Leslie, too. “Leslie Knope! That hair color is the most flattering brunette look I could ever imagine for you. Though it’s equally flattering as your former blonde hair, which was also perfect for you.”

“Chris,” Leslie said, offering him a smile. “That’s so nice of you to say.” She squeezed Ben’s hand just a little too hard, and Ben winced.

“Ben Wyatt, is Leslie not the most lovely woman you’ve ever seen?”

“Leslie’s always lovely,” Ben said truthfully. “But her hair is so—“

Chris snapped his fingers at Ben. “So Meredith! I know! That’s who she reminds me of.”

“Meredith?”

“Meredith!”

“Meredith James? Meredith-my-ex-girlfriend-Meredith?” Ben could feel this, the precise moment his stress-headache was starting.

“Yes, great woman. Did you know she’s getting her doctorate? Studying the mating habits of tree frogs.”

“No, I did not know that. Because we broke up. And we broke up, what? seven years ago.”

“Eight years. Always fantastic to talk to her,” Chris said. He chuckled. “You and brunettes, Ben.”

Ben shook his head. “First off, I don’t think that’s true. And second off, I didn’t tell Leslie to dye her hair.”

“I get it, dude,” Andy said, joining them. He offered Ben a fist bump, which was, as ever, non-optional. “Brunettes are hot. I know because I’ve also dated my fair share of them, and fairly it was awesome.” He yelled across the room to April. “Babe, you have the best hair color!” Andy yelled while Chris nodded.

“I’m going to dye it red,” April said, never looking up from her phone.

“That’s awesome!” Andy said. “She’s not going to do that,” he assured them.

“Yes I am,” April said.

“Don’t let her go off with Donna,” Ben said to Andy.

“I’m not a fairy godmother,” Donna said. “Leslie was a one-time deal. I have shit to do.”

“Are you done filling out those 1024CW reports?” Chris asked her.

“I meant important shit. My hair, for one,” Donna said, waving him off.

“You really do have do those reports,” Leslie said. “Unless you’d rather run down to the community center and grab the—“

“Send this guy,” Donna said, putting her hand on Ben’s shoulder. “He’s unemployed.”

“I’m not unemployed, I’m looking,” Ben said.

“All you seem to be looking for is reasons to hate Leslie’s hair,” Donna said, smacking him in the back of the head before sauntering back to her desk.

“Well, I think Leslie looks very nice,” Jerry said, calling over from his desk.

“I disagree with whatever Jerry said,” April said, still engrossed in her phone.

“Can you even tell me what’s different about her?” Ben asked.

April kept her eyes down, but held her phone up and snapped a picture. “Someone’ll give me the highlights on tumblr.”

Ben didn’t even work with April anymore, but he still wanted to grab that phone and flush it.

Leslie muttered something about not caring what Jerry thought anyway.

They heard a door fly open.

“Leslie,” Ron said, leaning against his doorframe. “Leslie, you look… spectacular.”

Ben wouldn’t have felt so threatened by Ron, except Leslie was practically preening under Ron’s attention.

“This is the only time you’ve ever noticed anything about my physical appearance,” Leslie said. “It’s about time I get recognized for my looks.”

Ben tried not to roll his eyes.

“It’s better,” Ron said.

“Leslie’s hair is different,” April said. “According to Derek.”

“I have to get going,” Ben said. No one noticed. He grabbed Leslie’s hand and pulled her in to the hallway, to the disappointment of Ron.

“Leslie,” he said, stalling.

“Benjamin,” she said, mock-serious.

He blew out a breath. “I’m sorry.”

“You’re just mad I’m going to run away with Ron.”

“No, you aren’t. I just… really love your hair. Your blonde hair. I don’t mean to be ridiculous. You can dye your hair whatever color you want. Or cut it. Or get a face tattoo. Whatever you want.”

“Thank you for that,” she said, giving him a lazy salute. “I was just waiting on your ok to run off to Fat Tony’s Tattoo Emporium.”

“No, I know—“

“I was going to get Taking on the world on my forehead,” she said, poking him in the chest.

He caught her hand and cradled it against his chest. “I was just surprised. But—“ He smiled, showing as many teeth as he could. “I’m ready for you to take on the world with brown hair.”

“Chestnut hair,” she said. “I forgive you. I’ll even change it back.” She kissed him on the mouth, leaning in just a little too long for work. Then she spun around.

“Say good-bye, Ben,” she said. She glanced around at the mostly empty hallway. She fisted a chunk of hair, and then screamed as she ripped out her--

When Ben woke up, two Leslies were kneeling next to him. He focused, and they turned into one woman, one with blonde hair, but covered by some sort of netting.

“Ben? Ben? Are you ok?” she was asking.

“What happened?” he asked.

“You passed out when I took off my wig,” she said, a slight smirk on her face.

“Wig?” he asked.

“Wig,” she confirmed.

He groaned.

“That was the best,” April said, and Ben sat up to see her, phone aimed at his face.

“Please tell me you didn’t—“

“Oh I did. I was just taking your advice, to pay attention,” April said. “I bet this goes viral.”

“Please delete that,” Ben asked, sighing.

“No!,” April said. “This’ll teach you not to love Leslie’s hair like the rest of us.”

“April,” Leslie warned.

“You tell her honey,” Ben said. “She’ll listen to you.”

“April, do you really love my hair?”