Unsolicited Ask Box Porn Day

[diaphenia]

whimsical_irony mentioned something on tumblr about writing porn and added this tag: #tried to write lap-sitting fic because of course i did #and it was only 500 words so i thought #'let's add some smut!' #'doing it all over washington!' #easier said than done

So I decided to do that, something that as I'm typing out sounds obnoxious but I swear was from a place of love because I don't write porn, generally. Therefore, it was decreed that it was Unsolicited Ask Box Porn Day, though to be fair only like two people didn't request it, one because she was the first, and one because she lives in Europe. The first one is season four, but the rest are doin' it around DC. 



Andy couldn't believe Leslie and Ben didn't realize he was in Ben's closet. They were super doing it, and it was sort of gross to listen to, but sort of awesome too. He'd always had questions about Ben; April assumed their roommate was bad at sex, but from this angle, Ben really seemed to know what he was doing. Leslie was spread wide and moaning pretty loudly. Told you, he texted April. Faking it, April answered. Leslie's not faking THAT, he said. The proof was in the picture, as Burt knew. americnxidiot

April sort of hated DC, but now that Andy was here, it was tolerable. Also tolerable was the way he was kneading her breasts, pawing at them under her coat even though they were on the Metro during rush hour. To anyone else, it would look like they were pressed together out of necessity, and not because it'd been a month since they'd last touched. He snuck his hand under her shirt, and she gasped. His eyes turned molten, and she leaned forward to kiss Andy. "I'm right here, you two," Ben sighed. ballroom_pink

Leslie stared at the National Mall. Epic. Beautiful. And... inspiring. She shifted her maps and notebooks to one hand, and then let the other one brush against the front of Ben's jeans. His breath hitched, and he gave her a side-eyed glance. "What are you doing?" he gritted out, tilting his head at their tour group. She grinned and did it again, as his shoulders tensed. She raised her hand and, without waiting for an acknowledgement, asked "how big is it?" The tour guide droned while Ben groaned. princess_george

Ben thought it was morbid to attend a performance at Ford's Theatre, but Leslie was so excited he went ahead and bought box seats. His mistake was buying them for the first night she was there, because they couldn't stop stealing touches. She was delicately touching him through the fabric of his pants, and he bit his fist to stop the moan. "You're making the worst thoughts go through my head, Leslie," he whispered. "Sexy stuff's not the worst thing to go through someone's head here," she said. lizinstereo

Ben was glad Leslie was finally in DC. It had been a long, lonely month, but she'd done all she could, including many evenings doing things on skype he was certain would put Ms. Maxxxx to shame, while he touched himself in front of that computer. And now, here she was, removing her blazer. He should've been hard... but he felt strangely empty. "Wait," he said to her, and he popped over to the desk. He positioned the laptop behind her. "There," he said, smiling at her... and the laptop. stillscape

"Ben, you really need to stop that," Leslie said. "Glad though I am to be in DC." "I can't," Ben answered, licking her collarbone. "We're going to get caught," she said, pressing against him. "Like that time at Jerry's surprise party?" he said, grabbing under her thigh, hitching it up slightly. She gasped, then leaned into him. "I'm just worried we're going to get caught by some group of school kids." "And you don't want to scar them?" "We're old, to them. I don't want to make democracy unsexy." popgurlie

“We should stop making out in your office, though,” Leslie said. “Your office is surrounded by windows, and Jen Barkley could come back at any moment.”
“I don’t want to stop,” Ben said, moaning as he licked her ear. He grabbed for his belt buckle with one hand while he rubbed his other along the seam of her skirt.
“That feels so… amazing,” she said. She pushed away his hand and went for the belt buckle herself. “And when we get back to your place, we’re going to watch Castle.”
Then he super put it in her. whimsical_irony


"Look, I'm glad your little girlfriend is visiting," Jen Barkley said, tossing her hair over her shoulder. "It's great that you're smiling like that, it's not nauseating at all." "Thank you," Ben said, avoiding eye contact. Who would've guess the great Barkley actually would've gone into that closet for her own box of pens? At worst, he thought they'd get caught by an intern. She continued, "but I better not see that again-" "Noted," Ben sighed. "Unless I get a turn with her, too," Jen said. stiffleaves

"He's so majestic," Leslie whispered, looking up at Jefferson. "Just huge." "Yeah, he's just great, but he doesn't make waffles," Ben said, coming up behind her and cradling her back to his chest. Leslie allowed herself a moment of bliss before she said, "Are you really jealous of a statue?" "Well, I know you're a bit of a size queen," he said, puffing out his chest. "And he's 19 feet tall." "I'm not," she said. "She's really not," April said. "What? You think girls don't talk? Or fact check?" rikyl

"We might be the only people who have done that at the Textile Museum," Leslie said, wiping her hand on the back of her pants. "Seems downright disrespectful to fabric." "It's all the columns," Ben said, biting his lip. "They give me ideas." "Me too, clearly," she said with a laugh. "Let's get back out there." "You know how mean this is?" he asked. "To be surrounded by clothes? When all I want to do is take yours off." Leslie giggled and kissed his shoulder, pulling him out of the bathroom. craponaspatula

"The thing is, Ben. The National Museum of Women in the Arts probably doesn't want us to do that here," Leslie said, nuzzling him. "And I respect museums. And women. But you know I have a marble fetish," Ben said, trailing kisses on her jaw. "The sun's going down really soon," she said. "And there's a whole yard full of statues." "Hot. You ever-" and he whispered something filthy to her, his breath tickling. "In general, or next to a statue?" Leslie asked. "Because the answer is yes. To both." shornt

Standing in front of the White House made Leslie's heart sing. She sighed happily. "Oh, you interested in that again?" Ben asked, grabbing her hip. She put her hands on his chest and pushed him gently. "Any other time, Ben, but for once..." This was the one place in Washington DC where she didn't want to grab Ben. Instead, she wanted to grab a ballot- and mark the oval next to "Leslie Knope." courtknees1

Comments

[shornt.livejournal.com]

OH THANK U FOR THAT JEN ONE EXISTING THAT MAKES ME VERY VERY HAPPY

and then he super put it in her

ilu

[ballroom_pink.livejournal.com]

The one for rikyl is so good. I can totally see April's deadpan in that.

[stars-inthe-sky.livejournal.com]

Okay, now I'm trying to figure out where the heck someone could be doing that in the Textile Museum. Maybe in the little learning room behind one of the weaving stations? The mind, it boggles...

I haven't been to the National Museum of Women in the Arts yet, but now I'm just going to be thinking about Ben's marble fetish.

[courtknees1.livejournal.com]

You are a magnificent human being.

[craponaspatula.livejournal.com]

Ha, there was a few I missed. Well done.

[prof-buzzkill.livejournal.com]

Oh, Dear Dear Unsolicited Pron, This one's for you:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9hwE0slNd3Y

[onelittletruth.livejournal.com]

This is the most perfect thing ever and I loved every single one and I wish it could go on forever. Also. After seeing Andy's Testimony I was going to try and get someone to write a fic about the whole him getting shirts and them not seeing him thing but yours was amazing and I don't need too anymore. Ahh. I loved all of these. I'm just really tired and happy right now.