(no subject)

[diaphenia]

Today my best friend moved away, and I am in agony.

D is more than just a friend. He’s my advocate, my partner in crime, my karaoke dueter, my competition in the annual Oscar Death Race, and my work husband.

I consume about 50% of my life alcohol in his presence. We joke about that, then avoid eye contact till someone changes the subject. At one point, he told me he was going to give up alcohol while away and I almost cried. He assured me he was joking, but I did freak out.

He’s the kind of guy I can call and say, Half an hour, $10, be ready. And he’ll be there, dressed well, and ready to be surprised. Then I’ll drag him to an improv show, or a movie, or folk music band neither of us have ever heard of (we don’t even listen to folk music, but there we were, loving them to bits). And he’s done the same for me, telling me to pick, north side or west side, and then taking me to a jazz club or a concert or a party.

We met at work. I don’t remember exactly when we started talking, but I remember when he tried to friend me on facebook. Sorry, I don’t add work people. He was flummoxed by this. Sure you do, he coaxed. I acquiesced, and we spent the summer hanging out in the parking lot after work, not going anyone off the company premises until the fall.  Since then, we’ve spent a million hours together, and now I don’t know what to do with him gone.

I’ve only cried about it once. He told me not to cry, and I haven’t, except once. We were in a parking lot—not at work, just being out—and talking about work, and I realized I always thought I get out of there first, I’m older and I have a degree, but now he was going to escape… I cried in the parking lot next to his car door, because I really thought I might get out and I felt weirdly protective of the job when he started complaining—shut up, dude, you don’t even work there anymore (or you won’t in two weeks) so stop saying terrible things about the place I work. It was so strange, to not be on the same side as him for the first time in forever.

Since then, I refuse to cry. But I’ve been staring off into space for a while now, wondering what to do with all the free time I now I have.

Comments

[rikyl.livejournal.com]

Oh, I feel bad, I forgot that was happening today. Man, that sucks. He sounds like a really amazing friend/partner in crime. It's okay to cry, right?

This is going to be incredibly small consolation, but I've been thinking that it's kind of ridiculous that we live within a few hours and haven't met. We should try to make plans sometime.

[princess-george.livejournal.com]

Aw, honey, you just sound so bereft. Such love you two have for each other. I know it hurts like crazy right now but really I'm also inspired by that love. You'll never not have that. But you won't have that right with you and that is gonna burn. I get it. It sucks.

[craponaspatula.livejournal.com]

D is moving?!? Oh darlin', that is HEARTBREAKING. I'm so sorry to hear that.

[lizinstereo.livejournal.com]

That sucks. There's nothing worse than caring about someone and not having them nearby. It's okay to feel miserable.

Maybe you could set up Skype/Facetime dates? Having set times would give you something fun to look forward to.

[stillscape.livejournal.com]

Sending you internet hugs, and my dog for cuddling, and a chocolate-covered waffle.

[whimsical-irony.livejournal.com]

If I could, I'd fly to Chicago and give you a hug.

[throwingpens.livejournal.com]

I'll send you a million zillion cupcakes.
Moving's the worst. Being the mover sucks, but the person who gets left behind has to deal with this whole chunk missing.

And it will get better.