diaphenia | One Sentence Fic Meme

Ben's brother/April and Andy

“Let me get this straight- you have up the only job you’ve had your entire adult life for this woman, and yet you’re living with college kids?”

OK OK OK, one more. Ben and his favorite piece of Leslie's clothing. (Not lingerie or her lady blazers.)

ballroompink

That ratty old robe, threadbare and worn, meant they were in a relationship.

Ben and Ron

Anonymous

“Son, if you’re going to marry Leslie, you’re going to have to learn how to fish like a man,” he said, pulling out his rifle.

Ben/the pit///Mark/Champion///April/grocery shopping///Jean-Ralphio/heartbreak///Chris/Tom/shopping///Ann/Leslie book club

ballroompink

To others, it looks like a slightly-overgrown track of land, but to Ben, Lot 48 looks like the park his kids will play on.

He might believe she wasn’t signalling the dog to growl if she could stop smirking while assuring him.

Stupid Ben, moving out, she thought, throwing another jar of marshmallow fluff in their cart.

“No, no, it’s muy fantastico, that’s Spanish for ‘I know my boy’s going to be getting it’ and besides, this wonder chicken doesn’t need a wingman.”

He’s the most styling non-Jean-Ralphio man in Pawnee, but still, it’s not like when Tom went shopping with Justin.

How is it possible, Ann wonders, for a person to do all that and read Infinite Jest, too?

Champion/a raccoon; Donna/Bobby Newport; Chris/Tanya; Jerry/Orin; Ron/Millicent; Leslie/April; Marlene/Jennifer Barkley

stillscape

You don’t try to fight a Pawnee raccoon more than once.

“I could have that man on his knees in two drinks- I won’t, but I could,” Donna said, ignoring Leslie’s look.

Tanya couldn’t believe her best customer-slash-the best listener she’d ever met was friends with Leslie Knope.

Orin didn’t know why April wanted him to glare at the man in the hideous shiny shirt, but anything for April.

Though Ron choose not to get involved, he recognized the signs of someone about to run; time to avoid them both.

April has a whole facebook thing going for Leslie’s campaign, not that anyone noticed.

Leslie believed Marlene could slay any dragon, but it turned out DC had bigger dragons than Indiana could ever dream up.

ballroompink replied to your post: Champion/a raccoon; Donna/Bobby Newport; Chris/Tanya; Jerry/Orin; Ron/Millicent; Leslie/April; Marlene/Jennifer Barkley

Orin! and the continuation of the Tanya storyline!

The cape kept people away, but the real reason was that it made him feel like Dracula.

Tanya couldn’t believe her best customer-slash-the best listener she’d ever met was friends with Leslie Knope.

The first time Chris (usually a #3 combo; baby spinach salad and protein shake) came in wearing a Knope 2012 button, Tanya blinked twice.

As she started ringing him up, she casually questioned him. “New button?”

He patted the button fondly before pulling out his money clip. “Leslie Knope is literally the best candidate for this or any other political race, though she’s running for—”

“I know what she’s running for,” Tanya said, a little sharper then she meant to. She pasted on a smile, “City Council, of course.”

“She’s the best, absolutely the best. I know her professionally, since the deputy director of the parks department, but- as I am on lunch, and therefore a merely an interested citizen- she’s the person I’m voting for because of her policies AND because of her work ethic. 112%, every day.”

“And that’s how you know her? Work?” Tanya said carefully.

“Yes! But she’s also a— and interested citizen— personal friend.”

Tanya dropped his salad, and the plastic container opened, spilling spinach and egg all over the counter. Leslie came in regularly, with that pretty brunette woman (cobb salad/ bottled water) usually while holding a styrofoam box of— ugh— breakfast food and complaining about the disgustingness of salad.

She wiped the counter, washed her hands, and set about making a new salad, all the while trying to think about how to phrase this. “She doesn’t eat here. Ever.”

“I brought her a salad once. Never again,” he said. “But she’s in the hands of the lovely Ann Perkins, who makes her take vitamins, and once I got her to eat apple. I do wonder if she overdoes it on carbs—”

And while he babbled on, Tanya sighed. She wondered, then, if City Council members could raise taxes, and if so, if they could do so in a targeted way. She could just see a green-and-leafy tax.

It might be time to move to Eagleton.

Tom/hats. Chris/Champion. Dr. Harris/Jan Cooper. Jean-Ralphio/small children. Ron/women's lasers professor. April/Burly. Leslie/Gail. Donna/her manicurist. Ethel Beavers/childhood sweetheart. Stillscape/bored (you don't have to write me a fic)

stillscape

It always bothers Tom that he can’t pull off a Mad Men-style fedora, even though he has the pocket square down.

Chris sneaks into April and Andy’s house periodically under the guise of visiting Ben to switch out Champion’s clothing for clean sets, never realizing Ben has taken it upon himself to wash all dog stuff regularly.

Dr. Harris has never met Jan Cooper, but he resents her for the sheer number of idiots she slept with who are now asking him stupid questions.

Jean-Ralphio thinks his nephew is dope, since whenever they go out together he has the single hot mamas are tripping over their strollers trying to stuff his stroller full of those digits.

She’s blond now, he muses, but he’s still interested.

She just doesn’t get how that guy could afford this great place; it almost makes her want to budget her money, but maybe not until she’s thirty, come on.

Leslie always introduced herself warmly, but did this woman have amnesia or something?

Donna tips and tips well, so her manicurist helped her by sabotaging the nails of a woman who tried (and failed) to get Donna’s man.

Ethel only agrees to go with that pushy woman because her boyfriend reminds Ethel of Charlie.

Stillscape, suddenly overcome with exhaustion, put down her laptop and got some sleep.

Marlene Griggs-Knope

ballroompink

Marlene Griggs-Knope dated steadily after her divorce, but it wasn’t until her daughter helped her fill out her hoosiermate profile that Marlene considered she might look for love this time.

Sue (of Sue's Salads) at Harvest Festival

amypop

The one guy ~~Sue~~ Tanya was sure was going to keep her busy up and left town the week before, so she spent Harvest Festival silently judging.

Natalie Ludgate

rikyl

You’ll regret moving out, April, Natalie thought, but as she ran her fingers over the cardigans still in April’s closet, she dropped the scissors and decided to count it as her wedding present.

stillscape asked: "Except for Turnip" guy

diaphenia:

Dale just couldn’t figure out why no one mourned Turnip like he did, until he remembered she hadn’t talked to anyone else.

Marcia Langman.

stillscape

Marcia Langman never quite got over the feeling that someone, somewhere, was having more fun than she was.

JERRY!