Galentine's Day mini-ficathon! (Part 3)

[diaphenia]

k8_26_2: Have you gotten a request for an Orin/Jean-Ralphio friend story yet? Here's my thought process on this. They are both friends with people in the Parks Department and they both end up at Parks parties. Yet...few people really like them. I imagine they are at least aware of each other since they are always at the same events. Maybe J-R tries to teach Orin some swagger so he can impress a little goth girl.

Evgeniya

Post 4x14
683 words




Orin leaned against the pole, folded his arms, and glared at the world.

And it worked. Everyone except April avoided him.

Actually, that boss of April’s, the one with the ring at her wedding, he probably would have come over to talk but Orin had escaped that by hiding in the bathroom for a while. Right now he was telling some story to the one in the ridiculous shirt, and that would keep him occupied.

And now the fluffy-haired one was in front of him.

“ORIN!” he held up his hand for a high-five. When Orin didn’t return it, he smoothed back his hair and kept going. Oh no. “O to the R to the I to the N, the darkest goth boy since junior high or whenever.” He flinched, stared off into space for a minute, counting on his fingertips, and just went on. “Looks like it’s you and me, buddy, everyone’s paired off. The wedded bliss couple, the almost wedded bliss couple, the hot tamales over there, with T-dog getting it daily and nightly I can only assume you know what I’m sayin, and Donna and whoever she’s with—“ he sighed and for a moment escape seemed possible and—“but you and I, we’re the cool single guys. Swanson and Boss over there are also single, but I got a Jason Voorhees look and an armfull’a sobbing when I mentioned it to them. But you and me—“ high five attempt again—“are going to tear up this dance floor, we are going to show this Snakehole how the City Hall parties!”

Help.

Then the fluffy-haired one put his arm around Orin and Orin cringed, not that he noticed it.

“You like to dance, right?” No, and Orin tried to convince him with a look that was completely unacknowledged. He started fist-pumping and singing the butterflies fly away and nodding along with the music.

“So, Orin—“ he said, dancing around Orin as though Orin was an active participant. “Whatdaya like, boys, girls? Because I think you are one fine player hidden under all that paleness.”

Orin’s eyes involuntarily flicked over to Evgeniya, a woman who really understood darkness and pain and the importance of black hair dye and red angel wings. She was amazing, standing there against a pole, not caring. The fluffy-haired one noticed, actually followed his eyes.

“She’s terrifying. We’re gonna do this, O-man—maybe we just tell her that’s your name, nah, heightened expectations benefit no one—I’m going to teach you swagger.”

He disappeared for a minute, and when he tracked Orin down (he was almost, but not quite, out the door) he had in his hand the one with that crimped brown hair. She was the girl-next-door type all the other people not in touch with the darkness would find cute. She was ok.

“Jean-Ralphio, who’s hurt? Hello, Orin, do you know who broke their ankle?”

The fluffy-haired one twisted his shoulders. “Ok, Hotness, no one actually broke their ankle, but Orin here has a major bone problem and he needs your help.”

The girl-next-door looked horrified and was prepared to bolt, but some smooth talking and a lot of angry muttering and she’s agreed to help them.

The fluffy-haired one started in. “This hotness right here, A. Perkins, needs no introduction, but she knows what she likes and what she likes is my man T-bear. And he got her with swagger, which you need a shot of. You gotta roll your hips and approach the target, then you neg her. ‘Oh hi, you have some excellent sense of style which really makes up for that hair.’”

The girl-next-door glared. “No, you ask her her name- politely, and then you ask her if she wants a drink, which you buy—“

“Never buy a drink; she’ll think she owns you.”

“You certainly don’t insult her—“

While they were arguing, Orin slipped away. Time to leave— and then he smacked straight into Evgeniya.

He panicked briefly, but then he nodded at her.

She nodded at him.

They leaned up against a pole together.




craponaspatula: It always been assumed in fic that Ben will move in with Leslie, but let's say for whatever reason, Leslie ends up moving in with Ben (and April and Andy). Whatever combo of April/Andy/Ben/Leslie roommate antics ensue.

Losing Balance
461 words
Spring 2012



“Leslie, you’re the best,” Andy said, shoving cookies in his mouth. “I’m so glad you’re living here till they deal with those raccoons.”

“It’s good I escaped with my binders and my painting,” she said, quirking her mouth. “But will I ever see my birdhouses again?”

Andy’s eyes shifted up to the painting. “It’s almost as awesome as that painting of April. And it’s super cool you put it in the kitchen.”

“Art is amazing,” Leslie said, eyes glued to the painting. “So what’s on your agenda for the rest of the day?”

“My agenda is for to play video games until the noon hour, then to eat my newest invention, Andy’s hot chocolate ramen noodle surprise, and then to write songs until I nap. Then video games, pizza, and bed.”

“I was thinking about your backyard. Wouldn’t it be really pretty with some flowers? I have a few ideas for what to put back there. Doesn’t that sound great?”
Andy nodded, leaning forward on the table.

“Great! Because when I said ‘ideas’ I meant ‘already purchased plants’ and when I said ‘some flowers’ I meant ‘many flowers.’”

“Cool! I used to help Ann plant stuff…”

Andy is on board, luckily, with Leslie’s plan to covert the backyard into a flowering paradise, including a tulip display with Knope 2012 written out in yellow buds. But they’re barely through with tilling the soil when they’re suddenly soaked with a sudden rain storm. Leslie shrieked, made a mad dash for the sliding glass door, and she lost her footing and fell face first into the mud.

She heard Andy gasp, and when she started to prop herself up she saw he was staring at her, shocked. At least Shauna Malwae-Tweep isn’t here, she thought, Local Candidate Loses Balance, Gains Valuable Ground. She started laughing, and then Andy did too.

“Oh good, I thought this was funny, but I wasn’t going to think it out loud unless you did,” Andy said, offering her a hand. She accepted, and, still laughing, gave him a squishy mud hug.

Andy broke apart quickly. “Gross!”

And they started flinging clumps of mud at each other, running around like kids.

Leslie was about to duck behind one of the trees when she heard a voice over the rain. No, not just a voice, but Ben’s voice. “What are you two doing?” She turned around, and saw him standing just inside the door, looking flummoxed.

She looked over at Andy, and he looked at her, and they both started running towards Ben, hugging arms outstretched. Ben gasped, slammed the sliding glass door shut and closed the curtain.

“He knows we still know where he is, right?” Andy said

“Eh, let him hide,” Leslie said, scooping up a handful of mud.



americnxidiot:Ben trying to get Leslie to enjoy salad. Bonus points if he's turned to Ann for advice and Ann laughed at him for taking on such an impossible task.

Salad Bowl

291 words
Non-spoilerific late season four



“All right, I have fruit salad—” Ben pointed to one of the many, many bowl he’d brought over.

Ann leaned against her fridge. She was supposed to be getting things ready for the barbeque, not dealing with Leslie’s boyfriend, but this was too amusing. Besides, Ron was going to commander the grill, and everything else was more or less ready.

She smirked, “With no whipped cream?”

“Caesar salad—“

“I remember once I ordered Caesar salad, she ‘accidentally’ shoved
my plate on the floor.”

“Crab Louie salad, tossed salad—“

“Too much fish, too much green.”

“Seven layer bean salad—“

She snorted.

“And finally, this beautiful pistachio salad.”

She gestured to him to show her, and she wrinkled her nose.

Ben smiled, excited. “It’s got marshmallows.”

“She might eat that, but what’s the point?”

“To teach her not to fear the word ‘salad.’”

Ann laughed. “Ben, you’re fantastic.” He preened a little under her comment. Men. “But Leslie has been Leslie her entire life.”

“I’m not asking her to move to Eagleton. Just to try something new.”

“Something new is salsa dancing or Mandarin lessons. That’s salad, her mortal enemy.”

Ben put the bowl back on the table and slunk into a chair. “I just… She never sleeps, she consumes more sugar than a fifth grade class, and I’ve never seen her exercise.” He shrugged. “She’s going to die of a massive attack of diabetes—“

“Diabetes doesn’t really—“

“I think she’d be a cute old lady, if she makes it to middle age.”

Ann put her hand on Ben’s back. “Leslie’s one of the healthier people I know, actually. She thrives.” She gave him a quick pat, then stacked a few of his containers and headed for the door. “But it’s cute you wanna love her into old age…”

Comments

[stillscape.livejournal.com]

ORIN AND JEAN-RALPHIO! I am giddy.

[sullen-aquarian.livejournal.com]

I love that Orin just thinks of him as "fluffy haired."

[isalsayourface.livejournal.com]

Me too! It is so accurate. :)

[stillscape.livejournal.com]

I have read this about seven times already, just so you know.

[fromahippie.livejournal.com]

Aww the last one is so sweet. I am now imagining Ben and Leslie as an old couple.
The other two are so funny. Orin/JR is so random, i love it.

[isalsayourface.livejournal.com]

I know! I am now totally picturing old-couple Ben and Leslie walking hand in hand through a park...

[isalsayourface.livejournal.com]

Jean-Ralphio and Orin! Haha, I would have had no idea how to have them interact in a realistic way - that was brilliant! And I love the girl's name. I now totally ship Orin/Evgeniya. :)

Andy and Leslie are both so energetic and youthful! I can totally see them "playing" together like this...and Ben hiding while thinking that it's adorable.

Oh, Ben, you sweet man. Leslie will never eat salad, but thanks for trying. :D

[americnxidiot.livejournal.com]

yay salad (as long as it has whipped cream and marshmallows). and yay all of these, especially ann and jean-ralphio arguing about women loll :D

[rikyl.livejournal.com]

Seriously loved all of these. Orin/Fluffy-haired one is hilarious. Leslie and Andy of course are just adorable muddy goofballs. And Ben wants Leslie to live to old age! That is so cute. We need more Ben/Ann talking about Leslie.

[ballroom_pink.livejournal.com]

Andy’s hot chocolate ramen noodle surprise

Cracked me up!

[princess-george.livejournal.com]

Mmm hot chocolate ramen noodle surprise. With a side of fluffy hair.

I had bar food and wine for dinner tonight, so right now I'm on Leslie's side. Sorry, Ben.

These are adorable!

[craponaspatula.livejournal.com]

Yay, I love all of these but of course mine is THE BEST. Hot chocolate ramen noodle surprise! And Leslie and Andy are so cute together! Tee hee.

[stars-inthe-sky.livejournal.com]

Orin in love is my new favorite thing ever.